Let's Work Together

When I was a young school boy, my teachers would always refer us to the Encyclopedia Britannica to do "research" on selected subjects. So off I would go to the library, where I would spend hours poring through entire volumes dedicated to just one letter of the alphabet.

I was amazed that such a thing existed, for this set of books represented everything that was known to mankind. Or so I thought. And for a mere family unit to own one of these exalted sets was pretty much out of the question, for even then a set cost about $1000.

Invariably, though, I would become frustrated with the encyclopedia, because it always seemed to be out of date. After all, life goes on, and new things happen. It would take at least a year for the publishers to catch up, and if the library didn't replace its set with a new one, we seekers of knowledge would be forced to turn the pages of outdated information.

Which is about as enlightening as returning from vacation and reading last week's newspapers.

But that was then, and this is now. Today we're experiencing what is referred to as Web 2.0, the second generation of the internet. (I'll skip by Web 1.0 for now, because its history requires separate blogs.) The buzzword these days is collaboration, and information has become democratized. The users get to write the history.T

ake for example Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia that everyone writes. It is a constant work in progress, subject to revision and review by people like you and me. It never suffers from being outdated, because as soon as something happens, people stay up all night composing the latest entries.

Wikipedia has nearly 1.4 million articles in English alone, and has become one of the most frequently cited online resources. Try Googling any topic, and check to see if the Wikipedia article isn't in the top 5 results. It's better than any Swiss Army knife, because it constantly stays sharp, and has every tool you will ever need.

Web 2.0 is all about dynamic content and online community. And Wikipedia isn't the only portal. Consider MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, and Digg.

What makes these sites so relevant today is that they are written entirely by the users. MySpace and Facebook are social networking sites (and there are many others as well); users can post pictures, network with friends, and tell their stories. YouTube allows users to upload videos of anything and everything, from silly home movies to documentaries. And Digg allows visitors to vote on news stories they find helpful and interesting (see my homepage for a Digg newsfeed).

And this discussion would not be complete without including the blogosphere, all the millions of personal blogs posted by citizen journalists who are editor, proofreader, and writer all in one. (I have a public blog in which I mirror some of my classroom blogs, so now your family can keep up with what you're reading.) It was in the immediate 911 aftermath that blogging took off, as private individuals voiced their fears, worries, and concerns of the day.

This democratization of information has completely leveled the playing field. No longer are we dependent on a specific source to feed us the information they wish to dispense. No longer must we wait for new volumes to be published. No, we are writing it ourselves, and we're doing it as soon as it happens.

This notion of collaboration is also evident at Current TV, the cable TV channel launched by Al Gore last year. Traditional ideas of programming have been thrown out the window, replaced by "pods" (3-12 minute segments) that are all contributed by viewers. "VC2 (Viewer Created Content) is Current TV's mantra, and it guarantees that those who tune in will see a potpourri of vignettes.

With the unleashing of unfettered information capitalism comes the risk of having too much information. Also attached to this is the risk of inaccurate or misleading information, as well as sabotaged pages (Wikipedia calls it "vandalism"). But these risks are small, because when everyone is allowed to contribute, you have the largest peer review mechanism conceivable. Someone is always looking over your shoulder, ready to rebuke or reprove.

And that sure beats having a frumpy bespectacled librarian peering over my shoulder to make sure I'm not messing up her books.

Dr "Do You Wiki?" Gerlich

Viral Marketing Can Make You Sick

Sometimes it's the craziest little things that can stir up a firestorm of negative publicity. You really didn't mean for something to come across in a bad way, but it did anyway. And now there's hell to pay for it.

Take, for example, Starbucks. Their name has been tossed around by the media the last week like a hot potato. And it just keeps getting worse by the day.

It all started when Starbucks launched an innocent email campaign to its employees last month. The email contained a coupon for a free iced beverage, and recipients were encouraged to forward the email to friends and family.

Bad move.

Starbucks apparently doesn't understand how viral marketing works, because suddenly everyone and their brother was trying to redeem these coupons. So Starbucks stopped honoring the coupons last week, almost a month shy of its published expiration date. But to make matters worse, now someone has sued Starbucks in a class action case for $114 million, claiming that the Seattle coffee baron used deceptive advertising. The $114 million was calculated as the value of the "lost" beverages that all the potential customers could have gulped had their coupons been accepted.

Naturally, Starbucks thinks there are no grounds for this suit. Pun intended.

The bad part is that Starbucks comes out looking bad no matter what happens. Sure, the suit is frivolous. But what about cancelling the promotion? No matter what Starbucks does now, they look a little worse than they did the day before.

Which goes to show you the power of PR...good or bad.

For Starbucks to not understand how powerful viral marketing is reveals a frightening weakness at top management levels. To pull the coupons prematurely shows how little they understand negative PR, and how long it can linger in the minds of consumers.

While the Starbucks lawsuit is a lot like the poor sap who sued McDonald's for serving her hot coffee, this case is different in that Starbucks should know better. At least McDonald's was doing what any reasonable customer would expect by serving coffee the way customers expect it to be served.

Starbucks should just suck it up and give away the drinks. After all, it would get people in the store, and traffic is the key to retail success anyway. Even if you're giving stuff away. And if they can convince you to buy an over-priced scone, they've already broken even on the deal...and maybe even made a little profit.

The best thing a company can do when they're taking on water is get all hands on deck with buckets. If not, they'll be left with a Venti full of their own tears.

Dr "Wake Up And Smell The Coffee" Gerlich

Sometimes No-Tech Is The Best Tech

Before you think I'm a crusty old curmudgeon who still listens to Three Dog Night on 8-track tapes or vinyl records, please rest assured that I am a total gadget freak. I dig my iPod, and have 6 weeks' worth of music crammed into it. I have enough computers at home to open my own PC lab. I've owned 6 different digital cameras (and still use three of them), have 4 GPS units in the family, run satellite radio in two vehicles and in our bedroom, and I bow down regularly at the altar of digital gadgetry.

OK, I'm just kidding about that last thing.

So it may strike you as somewhat odd that I am a retro-grouch when it comes to lawnmowers. I had been hunting and hunting for a no-frills basic lawnmower for many months, until I finally found what I was looking for at Wal-Mart last week.

But let me digress first.Mother Nature has seen fit to bless us with copious amounts of rain this last month. I am the proud owner of a 10-acre jungle. The grass and weeds are growing so fast that I cannot keep up with it. Shoot, for entertainment, we sit out in the carport and watch the weeds grow. That is, until the mosquitoes start bleeding us dry.

I have a nice Massey-Ferguson tractor for mowing the simple stuff, but I rely on a pushmower for the immediate front and back yards, as well as through treelines. But when you live in the country, you need something that is a little tougher than those prissy models they sell to suburbanites. I don't have lush fescue or Kentucky Blue Grass for a lawn; no, I have a mix of native Buffalo grass, some wild Bermuda grass, a slew of weeds, and patches of some unknown tall prairie grass that dwarfs everything else by a good foot.

For the last five years I've owned a $450 John Deere pushmower. It has a mulching feature, and is self-propelled. For most people, this would be a slam-dunk. Just aim it, and off you go.But that thing was the worst $450 I've ever spent. It's got about as much power as a horse ready for the glue factory. In spite of regular maintenance and trips to the shop, it just acts like it wants to get paid for doing nothing.

So I privately started longing for the simple mowers of my youth...the kind we had back in the 70s that had one basic feature: a big blade that goes round and round really fast. No drive train. No mulcher. No bagger. No throttle. Just a bare-bones mower.

But just try to find one of these no-tech mowers today. No, it seems like all lawn and garden retailers are more intent on selling us deluxe models with all the latest in mowing technology. I'm surprised I haven't seen one with some kind of digital readout or something, or perhaps a remote control, iPod port, or satellite radio.

Imagine my gleeful satsifaction, though, when I found this lonely Weedeater mower (made by Electrolux) sitting all by itself in the Canyon Wal-Mart. For a mere $158 I could have a basic mower, with a 4.75 horsepower engine. Additional horsepower would be provided by yours truly.

I bought it and ran.

Today I finally had the time, the right weather, and dry enough conditions to take it on its maiden voyage. And you know what? I loved it. In between sneezes and watery eyes, I was smiling from ear to ear. That little cheapo mower plowed through everything my Texas jungle could throw at it. I ran and got my wife, and sang the praises of my new grass-munching friend.

Suddenly I was 17 again and mowing my parent's lawn in Chicago.You see, I don't think we need all these add-ons for mowers. People just need to cut grass.

It's kind of like those fancy cell phones they push on us these days. Sure, I've taken a few dozen pictures with my phone, and even emailed a few. But the quality is lousy, and, to be quite honest, that camera doesn't help my communications one bit. I just want to talk to people.

And I just want to get this grass cut before the house disappears.

Dr "Anyone Have Some Goats I Could Borrow?" Gerlich

Rescue The Perishing?

It is with great risk that anyone starts a business. There is no safety net in a free economy, and when you jump out of a 45th story window, you either learn to fly.

Or hit the earth with a thud.

This sobering little truth is the same for business of all sizes, all colors, all types. Each and every product decision is as important as the initial decision to enter the business arena in the first place.

And you know what? There is an amazing number of failures out there. In fact, show me a business or product success, and I'll show you 3 or 4 that didn't make it. Maybe even more.

Take the soft drink industry, for example. Although the USAmerican beverage market is a duopoly (Coke and Pepsi), from the looks of their failures, you would think they were a couple of rank amateurs. In spite of the successes of their key products, they've had more missteps than they care to remember.

Take Surge for example. Introduced back in the 1990s by Coca Cola, Surge was Coke's second attempt to try to compete with Pepsi's Mountain Dew (in the 1970s and 1980s, Coke tried unsuccessfully to sell Mello Yellow).

Surge was a super-sweet concoction that was hyper-caffeinated in an attempt to woo Dew drinkers with the substance that Coke thought was most important. And the name "Surge" itself was the result of a lengthy trademark search by Coke's legal team to find a brand name not already used in the beverage realm.

The funny thing is, a small company out of Whitefish MT was already selling a little-known energy drink powerder mix called Energy Surge. And while energy drink mixes and soft drinks are several miles apart on the product spectrum, for legal purposes this Surge was seen as just another beverage.

So Coca Cola did what it had to do. It got out the royal checkbook and bought the name. Hammer Nutrition sold the naming rights to Coke, and renamed their product Sustained Energy.

Surge hit the market with a big splat, and went nowhere. All that effort by Coke went down the drain. All that money paid to Hammer Nutrition gave someone else the last laugh.

And while there are still Surge fanatics (see SaveSurge.org to see their grassroots effort to save the beverage), there are not enough to warrant keeping the product going.

So instead, this year Coke introduced Vault...their third attempt to compete with Mountain Dew. Pepsi, of course, must be thanking their lucky stars. Over 40 years ago they bought Mountain Dew from a couple of brothers in Tennessee. Launched initially as a hillbilly beverage, Pepsi quickly saw the potential for a drink aimed at the "extreme" crowd. And the rest is beverage history.

But the list of failures does not end here. Coke has botched many a soft drink, ranging from OK Cola (a lame 1990s attempt to woo Generation-X kids), New Coke, C2 (a blend of Coke and Diet Coke), Coke Zero (a tastier Diet Coke), Vanilla Coke, and Mr. Pibb (a weak response to Dr. Pepper). Some of these products are still on the market in scattered locations, but all bear the tattoo of failure on their forehead.

Pepsi, too, has fallen flat on many an occasion, including various attempts to sell lemon-flavored colas dating back to the 1970s, Jake's Cola (a 1980s flop that was half cola, half diet cola...sound familiar?), Josta Cola (a 1990s mistake that relied on added guarana, which is a caffeine source), Crystal Pepsi (transparent cola), Pepsi Blue (21st century yecch), and various flavored Pepsis (1990s). At present they have just rolled out Diet Pepsi Jazz in two positively revolting flavors that I'm sure will quickly step into the Flop Line.

So why all new products? And why all the failures? Because in a competitive market like this, the members feel it incumbent upon them to try to wrestle market share points from the other guy(s). Given that the soda market is already flat, they try anything and everything they can to kick-start a stagnant market. Any new flavor twist with an ounce of potential is heralded as the next great things...while the other guy scurries back to the lab to come up with their own version. Even if just one new item scores well, it is worth the effort.

In the process, they come up with far more losers than they do winners. But if you don't play the game, if you aren't willing to take chances, you stand the chance of losing. You see, it's not just about trying to get ahead, it's more about trying to not fall behind.

And as long as marketers face this market reality, we will continue to see a never-ending parade of new products, not just in soft drinks, but in every consumer product category imaginable. If you don't have the stomach for that kind of high stakes risk-taking, then you probably don't belong in business.

Anyone care for a bottle of Sustained Energy?

Dr "Please Don't Ever Give Me A Tab" Gerlich

Culture Shock

One of the best ways to give your system a jolt is to visit a different country. The farther away you are from your own country, the more likely you will encounter a culture that is far different from your own. And never mind that the internet and satellite communications have allowed the exportation and diffusion of western culture around the world: things are still quite different in other places.

I've had a number of those jolts, starting back int he 1970s on college-sponsored work and study programs in Guatemala, Jamaica, and the Cayman Islands. In 1995 I spent a month teaching in Taiwan, and then in 2002 went to China (PRC) to adopt our second daughter.

Talk about shock. Sure, there were familiar US icons like Coca Cola, McDonald's, KFC, and Pizza Hut. Everything else was strikingly different.

But one need not necessarily leave home to understand the impact of culture shock. Simply turn around a look back to where you've been in your life. And I don't mean geographic locations: I mean the different decades in which you have lived.

Our textbooks tell us that culture is a dynamic construct, something that changes on a steady basis. We may think we understand culture in the here and now, but really all we are looking at is a snapshot of today. Yesterday's snapshot is different, and becoming a blurry past, while tomorrow's is slowly coming into focus.

If you're only 20 years old, ask your parents what I'm talking about. They can tell you stories.

From my perspective (closing in on the half-century mark), I can see that a lot of things have changed. The Leave It To Beaver culture of the 1950s (epitomized in the TV show of that name) is but a distant memory. The day when Moms put on fancy dresses to do housework, prepare meals, and manage household affairs is so far removed from current culture as to almost elicit a chuckle or two.

At the risk of sounding like your parents (or grandparents), things were much simpler in decades past. At least my generation had television (although it was primarily black-and-white for most people until about 1970). My parents had only radio. Unless you were a research scientist in the late-1960s, there was no internet to surf. People still raised their voice when speaking on the telephone, because that was the only way the other person could hear you. And road rage was simply unheard of.

Today much has changed. Our young people (the Millennial Generation) are multi-tasking pros, juggling iPods, cell phones, and email at the same time (and hopefully not while driving). About 70% of adult women now work outside the home, and a huge portion of marriages end in divorce, the result being all manner of "non-traditional" family arrangements.

We've become time-poor, possession-hungry zealots intent on shaving seconds anywhere possible in order that we might cram 28 hours worth of activity into a mere 24. We are quick to adopt any gadget that promises us better time management.

At home we live in spacious dwellings with abundant parking space for our 2 or 3 vehicles, yet we have to rent self-storage facilities because our 2800 square feet of junk won't fit in our 2300 square feet houses. TVs blare in every room, computer work stations are at our fingertips (and we are highly likely to work almost as much from home as we are the office, because work never ends).

And when it comes time to eat, we head to a restaurant. Oh yeah, I already blogged on that one.

Some folks are alarmed at how our culture has changed in the last few decades. They cite all the social problems staring us in the face, and bemoan all the change that has occurred. They yearn to go back to their idealized simpler way of life, as if turning around in the ditch were possible.

But I'm optimistic. Humans are amazingly adaptable to changing environments. While our lives are certainly far more multi-textured and layered than they once were, we have learned to cope quite nicely, thank you. I cannot imagine ever returning to a culture reminiscent of the 1950s (although I know some church and community people who are preparing just in case the 50s stage a comeback).

No, I am content to simply remember and study the past, knowing we cannot return. Furthermore, I embrace the future while doing the best I can with today.

And after a couple of weeks reading my blogs, I'm sure that comes as no shock to you.

Dr "Looking Forward To Tomorrow" Gerlich

Atmospheric Pressure?

Have you ever felt like a rat in a maze?

I have. It often happens in a supermarket. I enter the store, and upon grabbing a shopping cart, am funneled through a narrow aisle into an elaborate display of fruits and vegetables. And after this comes a quick tour through the bakery and deli areas. It is only after navigating these sections that I can finally gain access to the departments in which I wish to shop.

Or perhaps you've been hit with the smell of baking bread or cookies, not just inside the supermarket, but even outside in the parking lot. And no matter your resolve, you find yourself tasting these delicacies. Your stomach begins to growl, and you realize you're getting hungry.

Welcome to the world of retail atmospherics. It's all a carefully constructed plot to woo customers into a web of tantalizing products. And if you're not real careful, you will become the spider's next meal.

Two of my favorite stores are Sony Style and the Apple store. Located normally in upscale malls in large towns, these two stores leverage atmospherics in ways that most customers would never imagine. Their tactics are so low under the radar that their marketing slips in beneath our perceptual defenses.

To wit: Both stores use aromatherapy (or is it retailtherapy?) to set people at ease. Each store has a designer scent that is unique to the chain. Sony, for example, has a custom blend of vanilla and mandarin orange, creating an aroma that will be instantly recognizable to anyone who has been more than once. Apple's stores, too, use a unique scent (and for the life of me, I cannot pin it down, but I know it when I smell it).

Again, both stores rely heavily on presentation and touchability. Expensive, high-margin items are up front to lure people in. Every item in the store is a floor demo, and customers are invited to manhandle them. In the case of Sony, lifestyle rooms at the rear of the store illustrate how a widescreen LCD television would look in your own home theater. A customer could conceivably take his or her interior designer with them and say, "There...that's the look I want. Now do it."

Apple has a somewhat different approach, mostly because they only sell computers and iPods. Everything is trademark "Apple white," including not just the products, but the walls and ceiling. The sexiness of Apple's computers screams "look at me, look at me!" There's a certain smug "in" feeling among the shoppers there, with loyal Mac users emitting an air of intellectual superiority for their tastes in computers.

Truth be known, about 50% of the computers sold in Apple stores are to PC converts (or is that defectors?).

The atmosphere that these two stores create is so compelling that it is almost impossible to say "no" and simply walk out empty-handed. I know from experience: my wife dreads my visiting the Apple store even more than when I wander into a bike shop. And all I have purchased thus far is an iPod and every accessory known to man. A MiniMac is next on my list, to run my home entertainment center.

But atmospheric creation is not limited to these electronic giants. Department stores, boutiques, and nearly every large retail chain employ subtle techniques and tools to put you in a buying mood. There's a reason why all those cosmetics are front and center when you enter a big department store. They literally suck the women in. And there's also a reason why the men's department is usually tucked away by a side entrance: Men want to be able to get in and out, and will usually do so from a parking lot doorway.

Even the racetrack design in department stores is by design. Once you get on the "track," it becomes easier to traverse the store and all of its various little "stores within a store." Check it out the next time you go to Dillard's or Macy's.

Specialty stores also employ the same tricks. The hands-on opportunities at an REI store (think hardcore sporting goods) invite people to linger, try things out, and spend money. How many stores do you know of that have a 3-story climbing wall? The REI store in downtown Denver does.

The next time you're feeling like a lab rat while shopping, you can thank the marketing geniuses. Now if only the weather guessers could get a better handle on all this atmopsheric stuff.

Dr "Hang On To Your Wallet" Gerlich

Marketing A City

Last winter I was invited to a one-day retreat and brainstorming session for the City of Canyon. The guest speaker was a consultant who specializes in marketing cities. The audience/participants were from all walks of life in our fair village.

He led us through a variety of group exercises, as well as informal lectures. His (and our) conclusions were very interesting: We and he felt that the city's biggest opportunities lay in attracting tourism (in spite of high gas prices). This is a fairly logical conclusion given that we have an amazingly beautiful natural phenomenon right in our backyard.

But the consultant saw a major disconnect between what the city has to offer, and what tourists want. In a nutshell, his recommendation was simple: We've got to get over the alcohol issue, or else we won't grow.

And mind you, this man had no ties to the beer, wine, or distilled spirits industries.

He's right. Visitors to Palo Duro Canyon are highly likely to be turned off by the lack of dining and entrertainment options in Canyon. He cited the need for a "5-star restaurant" (hey, you may as well dream big, huh?), which would help attract people to the city rather than sending them off to Amarillo for all of their needs.

The consultant basically said that, if the city can move on and allow alcohol to be served more freely (in other words, not just at Big Earl's), that businesses would come, and they would prosper. Tourists would be more inclined to spend a night or two, and not run off to Amarillo to spend the rest of their money.

And when you achieve critical mass, the rest of the pieces fall in place. More retail shops would be able to survive here. More people would want to live here. And Canyon would grow.

Naturally, a lot of this scares the daylights out of the old guard. Remember, Canyon only has 10 stoplights (including the ones on Highway 60 and by the new Wal-Mart). Talk about upsetting the applecart, all this change would...well, change Canyon forever.

I agree with the consultant. Change is good. Show me a city that isn't growing, and I'll show you a city that is dying. And to be quite honest, I'm not crazy about the fact that the 1984 movie Footloose could have been filmed here.

So it was with great pleasure that I was appointed to the Canyon Economic Development Corporation's Board of Directors last month. Our job is to promote the economic growth of our community, and not preserve the status quo. And it's not that we are seeking change and growth simply for the sake of either, but rather for the carefully evaluated good of the city.

The consultant was realistic in his assessments. He did not make any pie-in-the-sky predictions about Canyon becoming a booming metropolis. No, he envisioned Canyon being a bustling community not much larger than it presently is, but rather with a more sound economic base.

My thoughts? I agree with the consultant. We cannot (and should not) try to preserve the dusty little town Canyon has always been. We're beginning to make some preogress. The new off-campus student apartment complex east of campus may help entice more students to live in Canyon, as will the new dormitory being built on-campus. Big Earl's is a start in giving people more dining options.

While none of the Board is unrealistic in thinking that Canyon could be the next Santa Fe NM or Fredericksburg TX, we are upbeat about the future. We are agents of change, and change is something this town sorely needs.

And it all begins with unlocking minds.

Dr "Keep the Change" Gerlich

Foam on the Range

It finally happened. I honestly can't believe it. Someone pinch me to see if I'm just asleep, OK?

The other day I joined a few colleagues from the university and had...drumroll, please...a beer in Canyon TX. Yessiree, yours truly and some of your profs had a Shiner bock at Big Earl's BBQ and Taco House.

No kidding. In my 17+ years here, not once has anyone been able to get a beer or glass of wine in this town. Yeah, I know that the golf club in Hunsley Hills sells the stuff, but that's almost out of town. I'm talking about a real live university town here, where profs and students can go somewhere in a non-threatening setting and just engage one another in conversation over adult beverages.

And you know what? Hell didn't freeze over. The city didn't collapse in moral decay. And I enjoyed myself.

But allow me to back up a little first.

I grew up in the south suburbs of Chicago, which means there were taverns and liquor stores everywhere. Half of my family is Catholic (although I was raised Protestant), and if you've never been to a Catholic wedding or funeral before, you have lived a sheltered life. Having access to alcohol was, and is, a non-issue for me.

Sure, I'm a serious member of my faith community. Don't get me wrong on that count. But I'm afraid a lot of well-meaning people have simply missed the point on this issue. It's sad, but I think some people have confused oppression with religion.

And both are bad words, if you ask me. If you don't like something, then make sure you outlaw it for everyone.

I did all of my graduate studies at Indiana University. My roommate was a law student, and located conveniently across the street from the law school was Nick's Tavern. Students and profs would go there daily to commiserate, swap stories, and learn from one another. It was a place where community happened, a logical extension of the university, but without all the formalities and rules.

In other words, it was cool.

I envied my roommate, for the School of Business was all the way across campus, and all we had nearby was a bagel shop. Not exactly the thing over which you tried to solve the world's problems.

But I digress. We made up for it on Thursday nights at the Irish pub down by the railroad tracks.

Today I am happy for the City of Canyon in that its leaders have finally found fit to not deny a permit to Big Earl's (which is owned and operated by the same people who own Feldman's Diner). For once, people have a choice in this town.

I fully understand how one's religious beliefs can influence his or her consumer behavior. And this phenomenon is not limited to just Christianity, mind you. There are other religions around the world masquerading as political entities. If drinking alcohol is not for you, then don't do it. Pretty simple. I respect you...now please respect me.

But the problem is, I think that many people have sent the wrong message to the community. A theocratic government leaves no room for dissension, and only breeds discontent among those who don't buy in. Furthermore, I don't see the value in any religion that, aside from the obvious moral codes, tries to mandate how everyone shall determine the little details of their lives.

This is a new era for Canyon TX. Alcohol is not the answer to this city's problems, nor will it be the cause for any. No, it's about freedom and allowing adults to make up their own minds about adult issues.

What Would Jesus Do about this issue? I think he'd say something about all those strained gnats and swallowed camels.

Dr "I Was There On Opening Day" Gerlich

Labor Pains, Part 2

(...a continuation of a blog topic I started earlier in 2006)

It was the summer of 1979. Thanks to a little help from my father, I had landed a summer job at the Electro-Motive Division of General Motors in suburban Chicago. EMD made locomotives there back in those days, meeting the needs of not only US railroads, but virtually every nation around the world.

I worked the second shift in the Parts Department. Known as "the country club" among other less fortunate workers, it was the least stressful and most comfortable building to work in (even though there was no air conditioning). I would pack parts orders, and then just hang out until quitting time.

Of course, the foreman always came by to offer overtime, which amounted to three hours at time-and-a-half (not to mention shift premiums). I didn't care that I got home at 4:30 in the morning, about the time the sky was turning orange. I was making money hand over fist.

Thanks to union rules (it was a "closed shop" in Illinois, meaning all hourly workers had to join the UAW), the foreman could not enter the workers' lockerroom. When I was done with my tasks, I would go sit on a bench in front of my locker, and work on a massive 5-credit hour independent study I was doing that summer on the Apostle Paul. I was untouchable (and receiving college credit at the same time).

And when I really got bored (like during those "overtime" hours, I would hop on a forklift and drive around aimlessly, picking up a pallet, dropping it somewhere, and repeating the process until about 30 minutes before quitting time (which was the unofficial quitting time for employees, because everyone simply quit working).

I made about $6000 that summer in 11 weeks. I know a lot of students who would like to earn money at that rate in 2006. That General Motors plant is now demolished, the jobs having vaporized and moved elsewhere. And we sit and scratch our heads, wondering why General Motors in teetering on the verge of bankruptcy.

Fast-forward to 2006: The exodus of US manufacturing facilities continues unabated. A story making the rounds from the Associated Press (and appearing here at MSNBC) tells the tale of Electrolux, the Swedish conglomerate who has closed up shop in Greenville, Michigan, and moved to Juarez Mexico.

Electrolux makes far more than their fabled vacuum cleaners ("Nothing sucks like an Electrolux" was their storied tagline in the early-1970s): they make everything from Frigidaire refrigerators, washers, and dryers to Weed Eater lawnmowers.

And the town of Juarez loves them.

It was only a few years ago that Juarez, the seedy border town across the river from El Paso, had lost many of its jobs manufacturing clothing and other cheap items to the Chinese. Shipping costs for these inexpensive, lightweight items was a moot point, so low-cost labor won out. Unemployment was rampant.

But a long list of US companies has set up shop in this arid desert oasis, where labor costs run about one-tenth that of US factories. Consumer durables become an obvious target, because they can be easily (and more cheaply) shipped back to the US for retail distribution. Mexican workers, who might be toiling for what we would call slave wages, are gleeful in their new prosperity, buying houses and enjoying an American lifestyle.

Remember, $20,000 will still buy a lot of house in Mexico. In the US, it will get you a late-model used car.

So the outflow of US jobs continues. It was predictable, given what I experienced 27 years ago. Back then the unions were strong and could negotiate enormous salary and benefits packages for workers. But in recent years firms have wised up and outsourced or offshored much of their manufacturing, dealing the unions a crippling blow.

Of course, this leaves many displaced American workers. Imagine having grown up in Greenville, Michigan, and being the third generation in your family to work at the refrigerator factory. And then one day you get a pink slip announcing that your job has been permanently terminated. ¿Se habla Español?

No doubt it is a blow straight to the estómago.

But this is the reality of a global economy. As Thomas Friedman so direly reported in The World Is Flat, there are no more guarantees in the employment sector. Jobs are not an entitlement, and if you think you can hang on to yours for 30-40 years, think again.

As Friedman continues, jobs will always gravitate toward the low-cost provider. Unions can say goodbye, because it is a buyer's market for labor. Workers (and students) must realize that it is incumbent upon them to continually be in a state of retraining, because if you cannot stay one step ahead of your cheaper peers, you'll be on food stamps before the week is over.

Even accountants must stay ahead of the curve, because over 100,000 US tax returns were filed from India in 2005. And X-ray readers are also being outsourced: US hospitals can simply email an X-ray to India in the evening, and have a reading back in the US by morning.

The sun never sets on the new economy.

On this Labor Day we must be ever thankful for what employment we have, but also ever vigilant to protect it. We must continue to study, acquire new skills, and keep our value-added contribution better than eager workers located elsewhere. If we don't, we stand to lose everything...our jobs, our homes, our dignity.

And that's something worth working for.

Dr "Keep Studying" Gerlich

A Dying Art

Not too long ago, my wife was going through our kitchen cupboards. She found several sets of plates and bowls, four sets of utensils, fine china and silver for 16, and every kitchen gadget invented since our marriage in 1986.

"Why do we have this stuff? We never eat at home," she complained."

Good question. We could feed a small army here were it not for the fact that we've forgotten how to use the stove," I replied.

And that's the honest truth. Somewhere during the last 20 years we've transitioned from a poor eat-at-home graduate student family of two to a living-life-at-warp-speed family of four. We are more at home in a restaurant than we are in our own kitchen.

And it's not just us (although I admit we are a bit above the norm). Furthermore, dining out seems to be a Texas preoccupation.

The Zagat Survey reports that, while US citizens on average dine out 3.2 times per week, Texas residents in Dallas and Austin dine out 4.0 times per week. And those hungry folks in Houston eat out 4.2 times each week.

The restaurant industry expects total sales this year to be a whopping $511 billion, and, with 300 million Americans, that comes to $1701 for every man, woman and child. Even more sobering is the fact that 47.5% of our food dollars are spent in restaurants. I wish that I could say my family only spent that much dining out each month.

It's not that restaurant food has gotten that much better than it was. It's not that we have more dining options than ever before. Nor is it true that we have a bottomless pit of discretionary money sitting idly by.

No, it's the fact that we simply do not have the time or desire to bother with cooking at home.

Back to my family: I tote my lunch to school about half the time, while the rest of the time I eat out with two other profs (Dr. Lewer and Mr. Hayward). During my "Lunch With The Economists," we discuss everything from business and economics to religion. I find the conversation to be far more tasty than a couple of sandwiches.

And then there's the fact that we wind up in Amarillo 2 or 3 evenings each week just at the right time to eat. Given that we live 20 miles from Amarillo, dinner just seems so far off when we've just retrieved the (hungry) kids from gymnastics at Amarillo College. So we head to Moe's, Sharky's, Noodles, or Ruby's.

Let's not forget the weekend. Friday night begs to be celebrated, so we're dining out again. And Saturday evening is our ritual church-and-dinner outing with our good friends. Sunday is about the only day we stay home. Maybe.

Good grief, my Visa statement reads like an Amarillo restaurant guide. If only I could turn this into a money-making experience by publishing restaurant reviews.

But, alas, that's not going to happen. You see, this is a lot of people's story. Our lifestyles are so hectic, our Palm Pilots so filled with appointments, that our homes have become the place where we sleep and store our stuff.

And that's about it. We seldom ever cook at home, and when we do, it's usually from a very short list of options. After all, why keep groceries on hand if you're not going to use them?

The result is that my wife and I are losing any food preparation skills we once had. Her days are filled with homeschooling and shuttling the kids to their numerous social engagements, while mine are filled with research, online teaching, meetings, and a hurried workout on the bike. Food is just another thing we do, and it's usually in someone else's place.

Which reminds me. We're thinking of having a garage sale. Anyone need some kitchen stuff?

Dr "I'll Sell You A Salad Shooter For $3" Gerlich

A Dying Art

Not too long ago, my wife was going through our kitchen cupboards. She found several sets of plates and bowls, four sets of utensils, fine china and silver for 16, and every kitchen gadget invented since our marriage in 1986.

"Why do we have this stuff? We never eat at home," she complained."

Good question. We could feed a small army here were it not for the fact that we've forgotten how to use the stove," I replied.

And that's the honest truth. Somewhere during the last 20 years we've transitioned from a poor eat-at-home graduate student family of two to a living-life-at-warp-speed family of four. We are more at home in a restaurant than we are in our own kitchen.

And it's not just us (although I admit we are a bit above the norm). Furthermore, dining out seems to be a Texas preoccupation.

The Zagat Survey reports that, while US citizens on average dine out 3.2 times per week, Texas residents in Dallas and Austin dine out 4.0 times per week. And those hungry folks in Houston eat out 4.2 times each week.

The restaurant industry expects total sales this year to be a whopping $511 billion, and, with 300 million Americans, that comes to $1701 for every man, woman and child. Even more sobering is the fact that 47.5% of our food dollars are spent in restaurants. I wish that I could say my family only spent that much dining out each month.

It's not that restaurant food has gotten that much better than it was. It's not that we have more dining options than ever before. Nor is it true that we have a bottomless pit of discretionary money sitting idly by.

No, it's the fact that we simply do not have the time or desire to bother with cooking at home.

Back to my family: I tote my lunch to school about half the time, while the rest of the time I eat out with two other profs (Dr. Lewer and Mr. Hayward). During my "Lunch With The Economists," we discuss everything from business and economics to religion. I find the conversation to be far more tasty than a couple of sandwiches.

And then there's the fact that we wind up in Amarillo 2 or 3 evenings each week just at the right time to eat. Given that we live 20 miles from Amarillo, dinner just seems so far off when we've just retrieved the (hungry) kids from gymnastics at Amarillo College. So we head to Moe's, Sharky's, Noodles, or Ruby's.

Let's not forget the weekend. Friday night begs to be celebrated, so we're dining out again. And Saturday evening is our ritual church-and-dinner outing with our good friends. Sunday is about the only day we stay home. Maybe.

Good grief, my Visa statement reads like an Amarillo restaurant guide. If only I could turn this into a money-making experience by publishing restaurant reviews.

But, alas, that's not going to happen. You see, this is a lot of people's story. Our lifestyles are so hectic, our Palm Pilots so filled with appointments, that our homes have become the place where we sleep and store our stuff.

And that's about it. We seldom ever cook at home, and when we do, it's usually from a very short list of options. After all, why keep groceries on hand if you're not going to use them?

The result is that my wife and I are losing any food preparation skills we once had. Her days are filled with homeschooling and shuttling the kids to their numerous social engagements, while mine are filled with research, online teaching, meetings, and a hurried workout on the bike. Food is just another thing we do, and it's usually in someone else's place.

Which reminds me. We're thinking of having a garage sale. Anyone need some kitchen stuff?

Dr "I'll Sell You A Salad Shooter For $3" Gerlich

A Dying Art

Not too long ago, my wife was going through our kitchen cupboards. She found several sets of plates and bowls, four sets of utensils, fine china and silver for 16, and every kitchen gadget invented since our marriage in 1986.

"Why do we have this stuff? We never eat at home," she complained."

Good question. We could feed a small army here were it not for the fact that we've forgotten how to use the stove," I replied.

And that's the honest truth. Somewhere during the last 20 years we've transitioned from a poor eat-at-home graduate student family of two to a living-life-at-warp-speed family of four. We are more at home in a restaurant than we are in our own kitchen.

And it's not just us (although I admit we are a bit above the norm). Furthermore, dining out seems to be a Texas preoccupation.

The Zagat Survey reports that, while US citizens on average dine out 3.2 times per week, Texas residents in Dallas and Austin dine out 4.0 times per week. And those hungry folks in Houston eat out 4.2 times each week.

The restaurant industry expects total sales this year to be a whopping $511 billion, and, with 300 million Americans, that comes to $1701 for every man, woman and child. Even more sobering is the fact that 47.5% of our food dollars are spent in restaurants. I wish that I could say my family only spent that much dining out each month.

It's not that restaurant food has gotten that much better than it was. It's not that we have more dining options than ever before. Nor is it true that we have a bottomless pit of discretionary money sitting idly by.

No, it's the fact that we simply do not have the time or desire to bother with cooking at home.

Back to my family: I tote my lunch to school about half the time, while the rest of the time I eat out with two other profs (Dr. Lewer and Mr. Hayward). During my "Lunch With The Economists," we discuss everything from business and economics to religion. I find the conversation to be far more tasty than a couple of sandwiches.

And then there's the fact that we wind up in Amarillo 2 or 3 evenings each week just at the right time to eat. Given that we live 20 miles from Amarillo, dinner just seems so far off when we've just retrieved the (hungry) kids from gymnastics at Amarillo College. So we head to Moe's, Sharky's, Noodles, or Ruby's.

Let's not forget the weekend. Friday night begs to be celebrated, so we're dining out again. And Saturday evening is our ritual church-and-dinner outing with our good friends. Sunday is about the only day we stay home. Maybe.

Good grief, my Visa statement reads like an Amarillo restaurant guide. If only I could turn this into a money-making experience by publishing restaurant reviews.

But, alas, that's not going to happen. You see, this is a lot of people's story. Our lifestyles are so hectic, our Palm Pilots so filled with appointments, that our homes have become the place where we sleep and store our stuff.

And that's about it. We seldom ever cook at home, and when we do, it's usually from a very short list of options. After all, why keep groceries on hand if you're not going to use them?

The result is that my wife and I are losing any food preparation skills we once had. Her days are filled with homeschooling and shuttling the kids to their numerous social engagements, while mine are filled with research, online teaching, meetings, and a hurried workout on the bike. Food is just another thing we do, and it's usually in someone else's place.

Which reminds me. We're thinking of having a garage sale. Anyone need some kitchen stuff?

Dr "I'll Sell You A Salad Shooter For $3" Gerlich

Dodging Potholes

It was on 23rd April 1985 that marketing history was made. The Coca Cola Company announced that it was scrapping the familiar formula for its flagship product, and replacing it with a new taste they said would certainly be a hit with consumers.

And as we all know, hell hath no fury like a customer scorned.What Coke had underestimated was how deeply attached its loyal customers were to the brand...not necessarily just the flavor, but everything that comprises Coca Cola. And to tinker with it would be like George W. Bush announcing that the Republicans were now suddenly in favor of new tax hikes, environmentalism, and national health care.

It's at times like these that there's a lot of head scratching going on.

But marketing causes a lot of that. You see, in spite of all the best research efforts (Coke did a lot before it concluded that people actually preferred a sweeter-tasting cola), in the real world, marketing is just another day at the casino.

So why do we spend all that time and money then?

Because we still need to know our customers. It is critical that marketers try to more intimately understand the folks who are buying its products. But like two people who have been married for years, you one day realize that the more you know someone, how little you really know them.

And so you keep digging, hoping to find a few more nuggets of truth. Had Coca Cola dug a little farther, they may have unearthed the fact that its customers have an almost fanatical devotion to the brand that goes way beyond anything in a can or bottle. It's almost impossible to put your finger on it (even 21 years later), but Coke made a costly error. It was only by some quick backtracking that they kept the entire ship from sinking (Coca Cola Classic was (re)introduced in July, and was an instant success).

In another product category, Sony's early research showed that the idea of a Walkman tape player would be a failure. It's a good thing that they ignored their research, for the Walkman went on to become a huge success (only to be usurped by the iPod in recent years).

Over 35 years ago, the President of DEC computers declared that the total market for smaller computers might be a handful.

Yeah, right. And you're taking this class on your slide rule, right?

No matter how much research we do, marketers will still come up empty-handed on occasion. Success can come out of the blue (look how Apple has even been amazed at the success--almost 40 million units--of its iPods) just as easily as total failure.

And, of course, that thing we call hindsight is crystal clear. It's easy to armchair quarterback our way through post-mortems and lopsided blowouts, but we must keep our aim through the windshield, not the rearview mirror.

Furthermore, we must also accept that we're always going to be prone to running off the road, fumbling through those nasty rumble strips, and smacking potholes head-on. It simply goes with the territory.

Now if we could only bottle these truths and sell them.

Dr "A Coke and a Smile" Gerlich

Portable Waterpark

Ever since 1980, I have not been able to dissociate the phrase "hot tub" from "James Brown." Thanks to a hilarious skit on Saturday Night Live, in which Eddie Murphy parodies the Godfather of Soul, I can't even say "hot tub" without lapsing into the script. (OK, if you need a refresher course, click here to see the original skit.)

So it was to the sound of loud laughter that my wife groggily entered the living room this morning, wondering what was so funny.

I had just seen a segment on FoxNews featuring the DutchTub, a portable hot tub that looks more like the teacup ride at DisneyWorld. I had immediately run to my computer to locate the SNL skit, and was in the middle of the second replay when she entered the room.

What's different about the DutchTub is that it is wood-fired, coming with its own steel cylinder for stoking the fire that will ultimately warm your weary soul. And while it looks like it would be perfectly comfortable for one, the manufacturer claims it is cozy for two couples.

Leave it to those Europeans to subtly suggest kinky possibilities.The Euro-styling is instantly apparent, as the units come in a variety of cool colors. And while American hot tubs are often large enough to contain a few generations of family members, the DutchTub is quaintly small, built to fit in population-dense areas as well as on the roof of a Peugeot (which you can use to haul it to the mountains).

For a cool 4500 Euros ($6000US) you can have your very own DutchTub. Toss in some tea bags and you can bathe in an antioxidant-rich brew, and maybe even absorb enough caffeine to get you to your next appointment.

But as for me, I want a Texas-sized hot tub. Maybe James Brown would like it, but this just isn't my cup of tea.

Dr "Go Back to Sleep, Becky" Gerlich