Portable Waterpark

Ever since 1980, I have not been able to dissociate the phrase "hot tub" from "James Brown." Thanks to a hilarious skit on Saturday Night Live, in which Eddie Murphy parodies the Godfather of Soul, I can't even say "hot tub" without lapsing into the script. (OK, if you need a refresher course, click here to see the original skit.)

So it was to the sound of loud laughter that my wife groggily entered the living room this morning, wondering what was so funny.

I had just seen a segment on FoxNews featuring the DutchTub, a portable hot tub that looks more like the teacup ride at DisneyWorld. I had immediately run to my computer to locate the SNL skit, and was in the middle of the second replay when she entered the room.

What's different about the DutchTub is that it is wood-fired, coming with its own steel cylinder for stoking the fire that will ultimately warm your weary soul. And while it looks like it would be perfectly comfortable for one, the manufacturer claims it is cozy for two couples.

Leave it to those Europeans to subtly suggest kinky possibilities.The Euro-styling is instantly apparent, as the units come in a variety of cool colors. And while American hot tubs are often large enough to contain a few generations of family members, the DutchTub is quaintly small, built to fit in population-dense areas as well as on the roof of a Peugeot (which you can use to haul it to the mountains).

For a cool 4500 Euros ($6000US) you can have your very own DutchTub. Toss in some tea bags and you can bathe in an antioxidant-rich brew, and maybe even absorb enough caffeine to get you to your next appointment.

But as for me, I want a Texas-sized hot tub. Maybe James Brown would like it, but this just isn't my cup of tea.

Dr "Go Back to Sleep, Becky" Gerlich